Non Verbal Autism

All people communicate but not everyone talks. Some people talk a little but not conversationally. Some people say words and phrases out loud that don’t match what they really want to say.

Sometimes I use talking words but I am still very much non verbal. Saying words out loud is not always possible or accurate for me. My pronunciation of words isn’t totally clear, and I say words in different order than most people when I say them. I can very much more fully express myself using the letter board, or Proloquo2Go.

Many times I say nonsensical things like, “Larry boy!” or “Go back to green house!” and I repeat it many times for no reason. I hear myself and think, boy, I sound ridiculous; and I wish I could stop but I have no control.

When people ask me things I know exactly what I want to say, but there is an ever-present blockade between my brain and my mouth. It is extremely frustrating as you can imagine.

Especially damning are the assumptions that my intelligence is low because of my thwarted attempts to respond the way others expect; with verbal words. I can remember a time when a person said to Mom that I have a very low IQ of 40, and I wanted to scream, NO! But I couldn’t. It was horrible not to be able to defend myself.

I sincerely, altruistically, hope and pray that more autism pros like teachers and doctors will realize that autism causes major issues with getting the body to cooperate with the intentions of the brain to respond, but ability to comprehend is unaffected. This will make way for more appropriate help for autistics.



Long time

It’s been a long time since I posted here. Since the last time, a lot has changed.

School didn’t work out well for me, and I had time off before starting at a new school. I went there for seven days before Christmas break and I’ll go back after break. It is a very small school which is nice, and all of my classmates are autistic too. So far I have loved music therapy and gym, but the rest has been a hard adjustment. I get very consumed with anxiety and upset and do things I shouldn’t like pull the fire alarm. I know I shouldn’t do it but my impulse to do it is so strong that I’m powerless to stop myself; someone else has to stop me. I’m hoping that as time goes on I will be less alarmed at school and will do well there.

In retrospect, I think a school like this would have been good for me years ago; they have a totally different set up that is more aligned to the needs of autism. There are great things like music therapy and bikes we can ride in the hall after lunch. It’s also eminent awesome that there are different ways offered to communicate with teachers like iPad apps and keyboards to type on, and pictures too.  One more great thing for me is that I don’t feel conspicuous doing normal autistic moves and vocals like flapping hands and moaning, because it’s normal there among us autistic kids.

I hope this school turns out to be the right school for me, and that I can align autism to calm daily for ultimate success. I hope you can pray for me that it works out.

Love, Autism Henry


Christmas I got Blokus an awesome game

Back again

Sorry that I haven’t blogged in awhile, I have been acclimating to my freshman year of high school. I have had some hard times and some good times. I was getting very anxious and upset in some of the regular ed classes I was in. Autism found it hard to deal with the expectations to stay quiet and sit still. I didn’t want to disturb anyone and felt eminent conspicuous. Faced with that as a daily prospect I was getting anxiety very badly. Also I couldn’t concentrate well enough to do work consistently using RPM. So, now I am getting the same regular ed curriculum but in small special ed classes. This is working out great so far. I also got my lunch switched so I can eat with my kindred autistic friends Alec and Anthony. This helps me so much not to feel alone at school.

There have been a lot of good people along the way helping me to do my best. My case manager is totally, radically awesome, and aligned with autistic ways and quirks. My aide is wicked awesome and so nice to me. We always like the same country songs too.

I hope I can soon extend my school day to be as long as everyone else. I’m only going for four hours right now, but there is so much more I want to do and learn. This is the first year I am taking an actual math class. Before I was doing functional math that bored me to death. No one realized I could do math because I had no way to show what I know until I had RPM. Now I’m in algebra and I totally love it. I want to teach math someday. I also love world history and can’t wait to do more units.

Autism challenges can be hard, but with out of the box solutions like movement breaks and schedule accommodations, autism can be successful at school. Autistics being part of the school community is important because autistic people are everywhere out in real life.


These are my red headphones. I wear them to muffle eminent noise that taxes autism sensory system. Very useful at school.

~ Henry

Unfounded fear

Apprehension about vaccines causing autism are grounded in fear, not science, or love.

Stop being afraid of having a kid like me, because I’m autistic and I’m proud of myself. I have days patently awesome in life and days that are hard like anyone else. Autism is not afflicting me with a horrid life of pain;
it challenges me to find my way in a world with a different operating system.

My mom sees me as a whole person, not a partly autistic person that needs a cure. I’m autistic in every fiber of my being, so you can’t separate me from myself. Happiness comes from knowing I’m enumerably blessed to be accepted wholly not divided from my unique self, gaping autism mind against normalcy.

Vaccines can’t make a unique person like me, they don’t have that power; only God does, and He loved me into being.


Posting from letter board

Back to School

Necessary accommodations for keeping on track at school include many things. Of primary importance are teachers who know you are smart, and paying attention, even when autism moves make it seem like you aren’t. 

Allowing time to process information and respond is alarmingly important too, since autistic neurology has issues with motor processing which makes feeling your body in space difficult.

Another important tactical ploy for attention deficit is physical stimulation like deep pressure from blankets, or alloting time for loafing around with music to calm to.

I am taking algebra, human geo, and biology, and I am so stoked to learn more and more.  With laudable efforts from my teachers and aide, I am confident I will do awesome work and learn a lot.

I am hoping my peers are accepting of my autistic idiosyncrasies and are patient with my noises.  I look forward to all that high school has to offer.  Attendance problems due to anxiety can hopefully be a thing of the past if concordant strategies for autism success are used. I want to be at school consistently to be a part of the class of 2018.


So many kids with autism lack the chance to make friends with other kids with autism.  All kids need kindred friends to relate to and form friendships.  It can be hard at school because you are busy working, and it taxes all autism neurology resources just getting through the day.  Arranging things like a camp for special needs is a great opportunity to make kindred friends.

I am going to a camp this summer called Camp Pow Wow. It is awesome.  I get to do so much that I normally wouldn’t get to do, and I have met all kinds of great kids.  We are able to be together and not feel pressure to be like the typical kids.  We can be ourselves and have fun!

Keeping busy is really important too for autism.  Feeling bored in summer is not great for sensory alignment.  Physical activity is regulating to autism sensory system.  When I get to do things like swim in the lake, and hike, and canoe, I feel more clear headed and calm.  Being in nature in the forest is utterly restful and makes me calm.  If more kids could go to a camp like this they would reap so many benefits!


Off to camp


Ominous tales of soporific nonsense about autism harm the autistic community, by making autism eminent awful sounding, and utterly obstinate to change and growth.

So many people don’t know the ins and outs of autism but they fear it for no good reason. Fear is not conducive to openness and friendship. Enormous obstacles to autism acceptance are only leaving autistics and their families out of society where they rightfully belong.

I have had to be home a ton and not participate in school and other things all due to autism related anxiety over socializing. I have to battle myself to go out the door and face the world knowing parents don’t want a kid like me. How would you like to have to face that daily? My mom is always with me in case I need help, but she needs a break once in awhile. She doesn’t like people telling her that autism is a problem because she sees the humanity in all, not just typicals.

Alarmingly few people believe in autism abilities, but they also don’t attempt to think outside the box about how to exemplify autism, and not quash it’s inherent gifts. If autistics aren’t accepted in their faulted and fragile human state, then a separate world is created to contain them like animals. It is wrong to expect everyone to be the same. All people have inherent dignity. Including autistics is good for a healthy community and families. How can you help autism families be included?

~ Henry